Reflection II

I have serious issues with sharing with people.
And sometimes I get angry and want to blame other people for that, but the truth is that I am the one who doesn’t feel comfortable sharing things.
I am the one who does not like appearing weak. I am the one who hates to cry in front of [...]

Physical Therapy Results

I finished my second round of physical therapy in six months. I made good progress. When lying down, and after she pushes on my legs enough, they can get within 15 degrees of straight.
When I’m sitting and extend my legs outwards, I can get within 25 degrees of straight.
But when Im standing, I’m still stuck [...]

People

Warning: Self indulgent post
Am I perpetually disappointed in people because I expect too much?
I don’t think thats the case, because I dont expect too much. I dont expect anything from anyone.
Am I perpetually disapointed because Im too critical? I know I am. But I usually keep my critical observations to myself.
It is very hard for [...]

This and That

For one month my medication costs were just under $1600. With my new insurance, I only paid $6.25.
Enbrel is the biggest expense. It runs a little $1500 a month, but I now only pay $3.1o. It’s still hard to get used to.
Also, I’m almost out of visits from my home health physical therapist. My right knee went [...]

I’m still amazed

I’m still amazed what a difference insurance makes. I just bought my months supply of prednisone and methotrexate. They used to run me about fifty dollars(which I didn’t always have).
It only costs me $2.10 now. 
I haven’t been sent any obnoxious-ulcer-inducing bills in months. Now that I’m receiving SSD I don’t have to sit and worry [...]

Things I can do now that I couldnt six months ago

Stand up long enough to make a sandwich
Sleep on my side a few hours a night.
Lay on my stomach
Carry my 15 lb dog across the apartment
Blow dry my hair easily
Walk to my car without a break
These are HUGE things to me. Im excited about adding bigger things to this list.

Reflections

I began having symptoms in the spring of 2005, and since then I have not gone a single day without pain. It’s become such a normal experience for me. It’s become a part of me.
When I first started feeling pain I thought it was the worst pain I would ever feel. I couldn’t imagine ever [...]

Physical Therapy at Home

Ouch. Ouch. Ouch.
I just had my third visit from my home health therapist. She is one of the nicest people I have ever met. But those tiny little hands are killing me!
Apparently my calf muscle is full of knots and she massages them to help. Its insane. I never knew my legs were so sensitive [...]