Check, Check , Check

I’ve been making my way down the pre-surgery check list. Every time I get one thing checked off, it seems like another item is added.
Wednesday I had a dental appointment and have been cleared.
My Rheumatologist called and said she wanted updated X-rays of my neck. It has given me problems in the past. It hasn’t [...]

Soon….

I watched my friends leave tonight to go out. I, like always, stayed behind. Maybe this will be one of the last times that happens.
Nothing has ever been worth the pain that can accompany me when I have to go out. I’ve missed dinners, and holidays, and birthdays, and graduations.  I always make an attempt [...]

This one hurt

I really didn’t want to do this, but I need to take a little time to respond to this last comment someone left me.
                   Sorry, but you are wrong. I remember the first time I saw someone suffering with RA. I remember it as  clear as day. It was in Los Angeles 35 years ago. [...]

Yes

I had an appointment for a second opinion with another orthopedic surgeon today. And he said yes!
I was completely prepared to fight for these new knees, but I didn’t even need my arguments. He was in complete agreement.
It shouldn’t be long now. I have to be cleared by my rheumatologist, my dentist, and a cardiologist. [...]

Rheumatoid Arthritis and Religion II

 
Ok, I’ve broached this topic a few times in the past.
Religion and Rheumatoid Arthritis
So there are these people in my life who every time they see me, cant help but offer me platitudes on the struggles of the soul in regards to illness. They offer truly thought provoking philosophical insights into the questions such as [...]

Now we wait

I dropped my medical records and X-rays off to another doctor. He wants to look them over to see if he even wants to bother seeing me.
If afraid he’s going to take one look at that file, see I’m 24, and say no.
I don’t like the feeling of having the course of my life and [...]

I’ll just try again

Ok. Now that I’ve managed to drag myself out of bed and stop the crying I’ve a bit of progress today.
Im going for a second opinion. I made an appointment with the doctor who did one of my close friends replacements. She was only nineteen at the time.
I understand the reasoning behind waiting, but at [...]

They said no

They said no.
They said no!
They said I’m too young. I always get that excuse.
They said they want to delay it as long as possible because replacements don’t last long and I’m only twenty four.
They said they want to wait a few more years! They said if I was older they would schedule me immediately.
They said [...]

Knee surgery

I saw my rheumatologist today. After countless physical therapy sessions, I finally get to make an appointment with a orthopedic surgeon to see if I’m a candidate for knee replacement.
My doctor was very reluctant to mention this option. I had to down right refuse anymore physical therapy. I told her there was no way I’m [...]

Sympathy

I  know what the caged bird feels, alas!
When the sun is bright on the upland slopes;
When the wind stirs soft through the springing grass,
And the river flows like a stream of glass;
When the first bird sings and the first bud opes,
And the faint perfume from its chalice steals–
I know what the caged bird feels!
I know [...]