Dreams Deferred

Im going to have to drop my drawing class. Im so crushed. I feel like a part of me just died.
I just keep picturing myself when I was eight years old and drawing Disney characters. I wanted to be an animator when I grew up. And my parents used to tell me I could do anything I [...]

Who says stuff like that?

I had a bit of a setback these past couple of weeks. Both physically and emotionally. I’ve been trying to stay upbeat, but am still a bit down.
The hip pain that I’ve mentioned seems to only get worse and worse. The option of another replacement has even been tentatively put on the table. It’s something [...]

I’ll just try again

Ok. Now that I’ve managed to drag myself out of bed and stop the crying I’ve a bit of progress today.
Im going for a second opinion. I made an appointment with the doctor who did one of my close friends replacements. She was only nineteen at the time.
I understand the reasoning behind waiting, but at [...]

They said no

They said no.
They said no!
They said I’m too young. I always get that excuse.
They said they want to delay it as long as possible because replacements don’t last long and I’m only twenty four.
They said they want to wait a few more years! They said if I was older they would schedule me immediately.
They said [...]

Reflections

I began having symptoms in the spring of 2005, and since then I have not gone a single day without pain. It’s become such a normal experience for me. It’s become a part of me.
When I first started feeling pain I thought it was the worst pain I would ever feel. I couldn’t imagine ever [...]

Breakdown at the doctor’s office

So, I’ve never actually cried in front of a doctor before now. In fact, a problem of mine is that I always try to downplay my pain to people around me. ( There are only a few people close enough to me that I can actually be honest with)
After the worst night of my life [...]