Reflection II

I have serious issues with sharing with people.

And sometimes I get angry and want to blame other people for that, but the truth is that I am the one who doesn’t feel comfortable sharing things.

I am the one who does not like appearing weak. I am the one who hates to cry in front of people, and I am the one who always puts on a happy face.

That’s why I find this blog so helpful. I’m able to say all the things Im thinking but would be too ashamed to say out loud. Even to my closest friends.

I can say things here and people know where I’m coming from. People understand and tell me they feel the same way.

I feel like I focus so much on the negative here. But this is where I can let those sorts of thoughts out. This is my one good outlet.

I have outlets for the good things in my life.

But I’m going to take a page from Cateepoo ( http://thelifeandadventuresofcatepoo.blogspot.com/) and lists some things that have made me happy lately. Her posts are always upbeat and are constantly inspiring me.

 

The sky turning pink before the sun sets

Wind blowing in my hair, and sprinkles of rain falling on my head

My dog being scared of thunder and snuggling up to me as we watched Mr. Smith goes to Washington

Teaching myself to knit. And being outrageously terrible at it. Lol.

Conversations with my father that last for hours and still leave us completely disagreeing with everything the other person said. It gives us an excuse to argue more:)

An old man driving with a little dog in his lap

A new pair of pink shoes I was given as a gift. Theyre just my style.

Netflix and getting a new amazing documentary in the mail.

Having a safe warm place to come home to each night. Because I know so many people are not so lucky.

Garish Christmas lights hanging on my bathroom ceiling year round.

A really hot and very bubbly bath

Hmm. Very nice. Makes me want to get my camera out again. 🙂

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4 Responses

  1. I think part of RA is having to toughen up and be ok for other people, even when all you want to do is sit on the couch and cry.

    This has been a really trying year for me healthwise and I have watched as my support system has kind of gone down the drain the sicker I get.

    Now it’s my turn to suck it up and try to reassure those around me that everything is going to be ok. And really when I feel lousy that is the last thing I want to worry about.

    I also use my blog to get what I’m feeling out. My readers have the choice to either read and support me or just move on.

    As you may have noticed, I’m new to your site…and kind of the RA blogscene. It really reinforces the way I feel to read your posts where you struggle and where you are thankful.

    RA really is a lonely disease, I’m glad to know I’m not the only one struggling…you know, not that I want anyone else to have to struggle…it’s just nice to know I’m not alone.

    Happy New Year!

    • Thanks for your comment. Im sorry to hear about your year. I can definitely relate. Im going to check out your blog asap. Its always good to hear from others who understand what your going through.

  2. Whew, just looked at my comment…I guess I did a little reflecting, too 🙂

  3. Thanks for the complement. I feel so good inside!

    RA is hard and sometimes we need to cry, yell, complain, or whatever feels right at the time. I have found so much support from other RA bloggers that really know what this thing feels like. I too have a hard time expressing my feelings so my blog is a good place for me. I do feel it is good to focus on the positive in our life too so more of that comes to us.

    I love the lights in the bathroom all year long. I always thought that would be fun. I would like them in my bedroom as nightlights. I love sitting in the dark with the Christmas lightt on.

    Wishing you a happy and healthy 2009!

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