I had a birthday this month. I’m twenty four now.
I decided I wanted to go out to eat for my birthday this year. I haven’t really done anything the past couple years. I casually mentioned it to a few people. 16 people showed up to my favorite Thai place. I felt very loved.
I just found out my dog needs double hemorrhoid surgery. Almost everyone I know has pitched in a few dollars. They know I would be a complete wreck if anything happened to her. My dog is like my child. She’s been the one constant in my life for years. She makes me smile everyday. Every morning I wake up to her little wet nose burrowing into my neck and her tail wagging. Everyone has really come through for me. My cousin has been on a crusade to find donors. And she has! And I feel very loved.
I live with my older brother. He has a form of autism. He is high functioning, but needs someone around as a caregiver. But he is the most wonderful person I know. He cares for me more than I could ever care for him. Everyday he asks me if I need anything. If he can get me a drink, or if I’m hungry. He is everything that is good in this world. Of course he is not perfect( none of us are), but he always makes me feel loved.
My best friend has been staying with me for the last month. She is trying to save up just enough to get into her own apartment. Every Thursday I have to go to aquatic therapy. I find it humiliating, and difficult. Every Thursday(even if she has to leave work) she makes sure she is there with me. She gets in the pool with me and keeps me company. She does the exercises with me and keeps my mind off of the pain. I know it isn’t always convenient for her, and that she’s busy. But no matter how much I tell her she doesn’t have to come, she knows I like it so much better when she is there. So she makes sure she is. She makes me feel loved.
I have some very precious people in my life. I wasn’t as close to anyone before I got sick. I was very much a loner. A very independent person with a one track mind set on accomplishing all my goals. In a way, being sick, and learning to accept help has allowed the people in my life the opportunity to show me how much they care. I never allowed it before. I never gave them the opportunity. I had to reach my lowest point to let people in. It seems so silly looking back now.
As long as I can remember, I have always thought that the best thing I could ever do was rely on myself. If I was completely self reliant, then I could never be disappointed in people, because I would never need them.
I didn’t even give them a chance…… They haven’t all disappointed. Some of them have made me feel very lucky to have them in my life. So I know at least some good has come out of all of this.