I’ll just try again

Ok. Now that I’ve managed to drag myself out of bed and stop the crying I’ve a bit of progress today.

Im going for a second opinion. I made an appointment with the doctor who did one of my close friends replacements. She was only nineteen at the time.

I understand the reasoning behind waiting, but at this point its just a matter of quality of life. The surgeon said my knees were bad enough to warrant surgery. Its just a matter of me being too young.

To be honest, I cant make myself care about what will happen in the future. All I know it that I can not keep going the way I am now. I cant. Eight months of physical therapy hasn’t worked. My therapist said if I was older he would tell me to give up. Which is ironic since the surgeon said if I was older he wouldn’t give up.

I’m twenty four. I want to finish school. I want to have a career. I want to date and socialize. These are the years I need to be pain free. Not when I’m sixty. I cant sit around in this apartment rotting away until I get old enough to have surgery.

I just have to be more aggressive with the next doctor. I sort of just sat there in shock on the last one. I made some attempts to make him listen but he wasn’t having it. I’m just going to have to make the next one see.


One Response

  1. It’s so hard to be in pain and then have to fight on top of it, huh? It’s one of those very unfair parts of having a chronic illness. It’s to bad we can’t hire someone to fight for us…what would they call that “bully for hire?” 🙂

    Hang in there, I know you can do this. I would mention what you’ve written about here at your next apointment. If age becomes an issue, then tell them about the quality of your life and what you have been told by your therapist.

    Try to find a compromise. And remember, you are the patient…you are paying them. You are in charge, ask for what you need.

    At least this is what my shrink tells me 😉

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