So many little things have been happening lately.
I can make it to the living room in time to answer the phone when it rings. I had gotten to the point where I never even bothered attempting it.
I’ve stopped watching and monitoring every drop of liquid I drink in fear of needing too many trips to the bathroom.
I went on a short shopping trip. No wheelchair, and no cane!
In fact, for the first time in about two years, I rarely leave the house with it.
I started school today, and besides my slightest limp, nobody gave me a second glance. Do you know how exciting that it?
I walked up a flight of stairs. Not easily, but I still did it.
My knees are actually beginning to look like knees. There’s a distinct knee there as opposed the the enormous swollen blob that has been there for years. I haven’t been able to see the shape of my knee since the very beginning of my illness.
I’ve been able to regularly visit my grandparents. Almost every week. I love my grandfather so much. He has such a special place in my heart. My mother loved him so much when she was alive. He was her hero. And he’s been pretty sick the last few years. I just haven’t been able to see as much of him as I’d have liked. But I do now.
Here’s a big one.
I finally finally got a scooter. I’ve wanted one for years, but have never been able to use it. I can now. I’ve been zipping around, practicing for the driving test for my motorcycle license. It’s so much fun. It feels amazing to drive off by myself on country back roads and just relax.
Here’s a bigger one.
I felt pretty today. Even with the extra weight. That’s never happened….
And the biggest thing of all, I’M BACK AT SCHOOL!
I went to my first two art classes today. I’m beyond excited. I’m thrilled. Beyond that.
Getting back to school is what I’ve wanted most for four and a half years. Meeting new people. Getting back into the real world. I’ve been in a cave like state for years now. I’m finally getting out again.
My health is still far from perfect. But these new knees have completely changed my life. It’s been four months since my first surgery, and I am still as amazed as that first day I woke up with a new knee. I still wake up everyday thankful just to be able to walk again pain free.
When I was twenty, before I became sick, I never stopped to think about things like that.
Such little things that everyone takes for granted. This post is one big list of things that seem small to some people. They’re huge to me. They’re not little. They are enormous obstacle and goals to me. Sometimes I couldn’t imagine that I would ever accomplish them.
I’m beginning to feel like the old me again. The pre R.A. me. Although, surprisingly enough considering the condition my body is still in, I still think it’s an improved version.
Now that’s saying something, isn’t it?
Why yes. That is my scooter. And you are correct in your assumption that it is inside my apartment 🙂
Filed under: R.A., rheumatoid, rheumatoid arthritis, school, surgery, weight | Tagged: arthritis, chronic illness, knee replacements, prednisone, R.A., rheumatoid, rheumatoid arthritis | 4 Comments »