This one hurt

I really didn’t want to do this, but I need to take a little time to respond to this last comment someone left me.

                   Sorry, but you are wrong. I remember the first time I saw someone suffering with RA. I remember it as  clear as day. It was in Los Angeles 35 years ago. I was taking a report from a lady who had it real bad in both knees. I saw her suffering and it went right to my heart. It was one of the strongest feeling of empathy I had experienced up till that time. It hit me physically and emotionally so hard I was taken aback as though I had been struck. Even thinking of it now I have the same feelings. I am looking for the person who wants to be proactive because you either sit and feeling sorry doing the same things that got you sick in the first place or you take action. I am not talking about going to a doctor and taking medication I am talking about making changes in what you are doing. There is something you are doing or something inside you that brought this on and it has to be undone. Every disease can be cured it is not about the disease it is about the person. 3 kinds of people who cannot be cured are 1 does nothing, 2 likes to be sick, 3 it is their time God is coming. Everyone else can be cured even cracked pots, they just need the information on how.

This is the stuff that you have to put up with if you are sick in the world.  This is the EXACT thing that I have been blogging about for a year now. People who like to tell you all the things you are doing wrong. If you would only do this or that. I’ve had just about all I can stand of it.

This man has taken it upon himself to judge me and my situation. He has made quite a few false assumptions.

Assumption 1: Im not proactive about my disease. I sit and feel sorry for myself.

Assumption 2: I do this while doing the things that got MYSELF sick in the first place.

Assumption 3: There is “something” inside me that I’m not doing right. It’s MY FAULT

Assumption 4: I am one of the following types of people. A)I am doing nothing about my situation B) I actaully ENJOY being sick C) It’s just the way things are because God is coming to get me

Assumption 5: He has magic information on how easily I can be cured.

If I only cared enough, right? So he believes there are magic alternative herbs that with fix everything. Let me guess…. he makes a living selling them, right? He has to make money off it.

He claims he has sympathy for R.A. sufferers. But I think he doesn’t know the meaning of the word.

I am so tired of people like this.

R.A. is a horrifically nasty, brutal, painful disease. But what is MORE hurtful, and MORE painful, and MORE brutal is people like him judging me and people like me. He doesn’t know me. He doesn’t know anything I’ve been through. And he has no right to boil my entire life and disease down to such a silly silly conclusion.

Sometimes things just happen. Sometimes people get diseases. It isn’t because they are bad people. It isn’t because they wanted it. I feel( not that it actually matters apparently) that bad things sometimes just happen. I personally feel that to think otherwise is a bit self indulgent. And a bit arrogant.

I don’t need to justify myself here.

But for God sake, if you are reading this, try not to do this to anyone else. Trust me, it isn’t helpful.

It’s hurtful and cruel. And you might be sincere and concerned. But it’s not coming off that way. It was like taking a punch to the gut. That there are actually people out there that can think and say such a thing to another human being.


Rheumatoid Arthritis and Religion II


Ok, I’ve broached this topic a few times in the past.

Religion and Rheumatoid Arthritis

So there are these people in my life who every time they see me, cant help but offer me platitudes on the struggles of the soul in regards to illness. They offer truly thought provoking philosophical insights into the questions such as ” Why does God lets bad things happen?”.

Um- Ok, so I exaggerated. What usually comes out of their self righteous uneducated mouths is something along the lines of…

“Hey, ya know if you’d jus’ trust God a bit more, he’d sure heal you up just lickety split.”

“I’m real sorry to hear ‘bout you gettin’ turned down for surgery. But if you’d jus give for to God, he could heal you”

“Pssh, what do them doctors know anyhow? All a bunch of thieving’ crooks if you ask me.”

Me: “Yea. But wouldn’t they make more money if they actually did the surgery?”

“Yea, well they’re just so darn lazy, ya know?”

I get emails from my best friends mom. I know she does it because she loves me and it’s the only hope she can offer, but it’s just frustrating to me. It always comes back to the fact that I’m only sick because I’m not doing something right. I don’t trust enough. Or I am just not a good enough person. I am an example for everyone else on how not to be.

It’s funny, because off all the many religious people I know, I haven’t done the following:

( I’ll even just stick with the preachers, chaplains, youth leaders, and preacher’s wives I know.)

I haven’t done drugs.

I haven’t slept around on a husband or wife.

I haven’t blown 400 dollars a pop on coach purses from the tithes of the congregation

I haven’t treated my entire family to a trip to Hawaii on the tithes from the congregation.

I haven’t paid for a new car from donations.

I haven’t spent time in jail for theft.

I haven’t stolen money.

I haven’t had a baby out of wedlock.

I don’t drink and act like an idiot.

I haven’t turned my back on someone because they didn’t believe exactly like me.

I can manage to accept people for who they are and not how I think they should be.

I don’t tell a sick young woman that they must be sick because they are a bad person.

And they have the nerve to talk about me. They have the nerve to tell other people that I could have gotten that surgery if I had even bothered to attend services.

I am the only one out of my many religious acquaintances who has actually lived a moral life. Yet, I am the bad person.

I know there are many many religious many who are wonderful and do good things. I just don’t know very many.