I’ll just try again

Ok. Now that I’ve managed to drag myself out of bed and stop the crying I’ve a bit of progress today.

Im going for a second opinion. I made an appointment with the doctor who did one of my close friends replacements. She was only nineteen at the time.

I understand the reasoning behind waiting, but at this point its just a matter of quality of life. The surgeon said my knees were bad enough to warrant surgery. Its just a matter of me being too young.

To be honest, I cant make myself care about what will happen in the future. All I know it that I can not keep going the way I am now. I cant. Eight months of physical therapy hasn’t worked. My therapist said if I was older he would tell me to give up. Which is ironic since the surgeon said if I was older he wouldn’t give up.

I’m twenty four. I want to finish school. I want to have a career. I want to date and socialize. These are the years I need to be pain free. Not when I’m sixty. I cant sit around in this apartment rotting away until I get old enough to have surgery.

I just have to be more aggressive with the next doctor. I sort of just sat there in shock on the last one. I made some attempts to make him listen but he wasn’t having it. I’m just going to have to make the next one see.

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Knee surgery

I saw my rheumatologist today. After countless physical therapy sessions, I finally get to make an appointment with a orthopedic surgeon to see if I’m a candidate for knee replacement.

My doctor was very reluctant to mention this option. I had to down right refuse anymore physical therapy. I told her there was no way I’m going to keep doing something that is so painful if it isn’t doing any good.

She finally relented and found me a really good surgeon. I called and they had any opening Thursday afternoon for a consult.

Im surprisingly optimistic. My physical therapist told me that my legs are in such a bad state now that if I was older he would have just told me to give up and to resign myself to a wheelchair.  He said that there is alot they can do about stretching and manipulating the tendons while they are in there.

This is my last option really. It has to happen. I cant wait for Thursday.

My rheumatologist told me that if I do have it that I will have to be medication free for at least a month! Ahh! Sounds terrifying. But I’m willing to do ANYthing right now.

So wish me luck! Thursady cant come soon enough for me.

Oh, and Im going to be switching from Enbrel to Humira. All my blood work keeps coming back with high sed rates, inflammation, etc.